#if i can get even one person into this podcast from my clips

[stone-stars]

Wanted to say thank you for unintentionally starting me on listening to naddpod.

I played a clip you posted some time ago (the home is where the hearth is song) and couldn't stop thinking about it for days and I started listening to the show from the beginning, I'm now nearly at ep 30 of season 1 and I absolutely love it.

yo!!! hell yeah!! home is where the hearth is is SO good (admittedly you’ve got a Bit to go before you get there lol, it was new when i posted it)

i’m glad i could get you into this podcast it’s very very dear to me!!! and damn you’re moving fast, the songs only been out for like three weeks! enjoy all the adventures ahead of you, they rule :3

[wuishu]

Hamzah yapping (II): Compilation

(not proofread)

Hamzah being this bad boy but sweet dynamic and Y/n being a caring person with a little attitude, who couldn't adore them. With the paring, no one could separate them.

People were finding more compilations about them, and seeing them more together it was bound to make more. The viewer's favorite compilation is titled: “Hamzah Being Obsessed for his girlfriend for 20 Minutes”

The first clip was in Y/n’s small youtube account, her being busy in life, she couldn't upload consistently, but she uploaded a barely edited vlog video with Hamzah. It was about changing each other's wardrobe.

“I bet this would be good on you, Hamzah” You showed the shirt to the camera, as he stayed still, “Try it on babe.”

“This is so ridiculous. I'm not doing that” You flipped the camera as you showed the camera a puppy look that Hamzah couldn't say no to. He took the shirt you were holding. He kissed you on the lips, as you smiled

“You're thankful that I love you,” He said. The video cut off, and you showed the viewers Hamzah’s new fit. “See, guys, he can be a fashion icon.”

“I found something you can wear,” he said as he hid it to his back, “And what's that?”

He showed it to the camera, and it was a revealing dress that would hug your curve, “Oh my god, what is that?”

He smiles and takes your phone to let you change into the dress, he hands you the dress, “You're actually serious?”

“UH huh!” he said like a little kid, and you rolled your eyes. You walked into a dresser, and he flipped the camera to his face

“Goodness gracious, mama Mia.” He saw you looking shy as he showed the viewers what you looked like. “Let's buy it”

“No, it's too expensive, babe”

“I'll pay for it! Come on, let's pay for it. Good lord, I can't wait for what’s under that dress”

You laughed, “You haven't even changed into your shirt!”

The next clip was a tiktok video on Hamzah’s profile. Martin and him wanted to “jokingly” show their fit like one of those tiktok boys, but their fit is ridiculous. Hamzah wearing an “I HEART MY GIRLFRIEND”

“This pants, thrifted. This shirt? Stole it. This watch?” Hamzah’s voice switches from manly to sweet. “Given to my girlfriend, who I love so much, I love you, babe, and I can't wait to see you. Shout out to my girlfriend.” The cameraman slowly walked away, and Hamzah followed the camera like a weirdo.

The video switches to little gameplay as you were in, as they played Roblox. You wanted to play Roblox with them, so you set up a little gaming computer to play at.

“I’m here, I'm here!” Hamzah jumped up and down as you followed him. Hamzah could see you slowly running. Martin is trying to become a barista in Brookhaven.

“How do you adopt kids here?” Hamzah said, as he took the stroller and tried to kidnap a recently logged-in character.

“You type, Abc for a kid I can adopt.” Hamzah and Martin could hear your clanky keyboard typing. You waited for a bit for someone to respond.

“Hamzah you can't be my kid, get outta my stroller,” you said as you unequipped the thing. “Goo goo gaa gaa, I want breastmilk, mommy,” the ‘WHAT?’ sound effect played

“Woah what?” Martin stopped playing, as you also froze. Hamzah laughed at what just happened.

In the next clip, it was an instagram story where you showed what you and Hamzah do in your own house.

Both of you were watching a movie. Both of you were lying down and showed what movie you were watching. You flipped the video to the front and can see Hamzah loving the place where he rests his head on your breasts. You caress your free hand to his curly hair

“Look at this stupid cat,” you said as Hamzah looked at your phone, he kissed your neck

“Meow,” Hamzah mocked purring like a cat. You were trying not to laugh.

The next clip was an OOC podcast about how they met you and Mandy. “I met Y/n, in college, she was one of those rowdy girls but once you get to know her, she's a nerd. I remember asking her on a date, and she said no.”

He laughed but continued, “But I kept asking her until she got tired of saying no, and we had a great time, which led to today, so yeah…”

“AND! I forgot I used to have this huge crush on her, but I was too scared to talk to her, so I told one of my friends to send her a letter.”

“Wow, so you pushed her into going on a date with you? That's such crazy behavior you did,” Martin said as Hamzah smug. “You can say I got that begging rizz”

The next clip is the recent video, where they show what's inside their bag. Hamzah showed a shirt that was too bright for Hamzah’s usual shirt colors. “My girlfriends shirt, which was recently worn, I can still smell her”

“Dude gross” Martin said as he held the black belt that was recently from his bag. “It's not gross, when I miss my significant other, I bring something to remind me of her. That's all.” He was trying to find something inside his bag. And he pulled out a cute plushie

“Like this one, Y/n gave me this for my birthday.” He shook the plushie and showed it to the camera. It was a beige bear that had a green knitted shirt.

The video switched to a new clip. It was another video from your small channel. You and Hamzah were just playing an old horror single-player game, and the youtube video title was ‘Playing Old Horror Games’. Both are in the same place as where Hamzah usually records when he and martin play their Fortnite gameplay.

“Okay, fuck, marry, kill. YouTubers Edition,” Hamzah said as he tried to disturb Granny.

“Hmm, I’d kill Jake Paul, ‘cause he’s a Paul, I guess.” You looked puzzled as you tried to rack your brain. “Fuck, jimmy Beast, and marry… Flamingo?”

“WHAT?” Hamzah was shocked at your response, and you looked at him confused. “That's the game, right? Or am I wrong?”

He paused the game and looked at you. The look of defeat was plastered on his face. “I’m a youtuber…” he mumbled as he placed both hands on your cheek. “I’m sorry, Hamzahhh”

“Lemme, answer it again.” You act like you were thinking again. “Kill the Paul brothers. Fuck, Hamzah from the slushy noobz. And marry Hamzah from the out of character podcast.”

“Aww, well, my answer would be… fuck, marry, and kill you.” you laughed, “Why kill me?”

“Well, I want you all to myself, so I'm killing you”

“If I end up gone, arrest him” You looked at the camera as you pointed at him. He looked surprised like he did not say something crazy.

The next clip is another mukbang, but they decided to cook their food to eat, and they brought you to the supermarket to know which one to buy and which not to. You were checking the spices as you tried to find what matched the other.

“We bought, chicken. We bought milk and vegetables. Because we are making — What are we making, Y/n?”

“We are making chicken curry” You showed the curry powder. He nodded “Curry!”

“Where the hell is the gingers? We need them” You said as Hamzah let go of the cart and left Martin. “I can help you find it”.

You hummed and agreed to his offer.

“Yeah, let's go,” He said as he held his hands like he was waiting for your hand to intertwine. You clapped your hand and held his hand tight. While you were walking, Hamzah was jumping in his every step.

Martin flips the camera so that the viewers can see his disgusted face. “Bunch of PDA in this market guys, not good. They need to be put down.”

(Sorry this took so long to finish, i forgot abt this. Pls give me some ideas 🙏)

[quinton-reviews]

Hi Quinton!! I have been a HUGE fan of your stuff since a friend sent me the Tobuscus Fallen Titans (I used to watch him back in high school and was like "huh, wonder what happened to him after those allegations") and I gotta say, it is REALLY FUNNY every time my fiancé and I watch the iCarly videos again, because when you cover Gibby's stunt double breaking his ribs, you cut to a clip of The Official Podcast. I used to play D&D with one of the main dudes from the podcast, so when he talks during that clip I do a goddamn double take literally every time.

Anyways, I remember an original Patreon stretch goal being a Fallen Titans on Homestuck! I was really big into Homestuck in my early 20s, and was wondering if that's still on the table at some point? If not that's fine, I understand plans change! I just love Fallen Titans lol, the Fred episode and the Neil Cicierega unFallen Titans are some of my favorite videos of yours!

That's a real funny story!

So here's the rundown on the Homestuck video. When I first started making long videos, they were actually inspired by the relationship I had with other YouTubers at the time. I used to watch, like, H3H3 and Filthy Frank, etc; and I'd always see people obsessed with the versions of creators from the past. Like, "Oh 2015 H3 was the best" and "Oh 2012 Frank was peak." So I had this idea that it would be crazy if H3 posted, like, a video he spent a decade on and you got a new video with 2015 H3 10 years on. (I don't watch H3 anymore ironically)

So the original idea for the "long video" format was that it would be cool if, throughout a long, analysis/review/recap video, you kept noticing someone get older. Maybe my months, maybe by years. That's why I always like to get a haircut when I start one of these videos. If you scrub through and you see my hair get longer and messier as it goes on I think that adds something magical you can't fake.

So... My pitch to the Homestuck video was that it would be funny to work on it just once per year. To record one segment, say "That's it for 12 months", and then come back around to it. And when I was making the iCarly and Victorious videos I actually recorded a few minutes of the video! I think it was two segments in total. But then I had a bunch of personal stuff happen and my work drive has been much lower, so any "back burner" video hasn't gotten much attention since then.

Now that the iCarly mini-series is done with, I want to focus on some short one-off videos I can make before April. But once that's done with, I would REALLY love to start work on a few more long-term projects which will take months or years to finish. I think returning to work on the Homestuck video, to at least get the first 20-30 minutes done, would be a great idea this summer.

Now, if you want to know my pitch for that video, here it is. The video is not a recap of the creative history of the franchise. I do not get into drama, community hell, lawsuits, or other YouTubers. My idea is this: you always hear about Homestuck as an outsider but you never hear about the actual content. Most franchises on Earth I know something about, even and especially if I've never been interested in them. I can tell you a bunch of facts about wrestling and MLP and the Fast and the Furious simply through cultural osmosis and having friends who are into those things.

I can't tell you the plot of Homestuck, who the characters are, what the themes are, nothing. I've known a lot of people who were into Homestuck but nothing about the series!

So I thought it would thus be funny to make a video about a bunch of people who know nothing about the series starting from the beginning and giving their reactions, even if it's been years since it all started. I call this part of the video the "Homestuck Book Club." So the next step is me picking out the members (who all have to have no history with it) and making sort of a podcast setup. We'd then read and record every six months or so, IDK.

This is why the video has been stuck in production hell! Everyone who wants to work on it and messages me about it already knows the franchise. I don't want spoilers, I don't want people writing for the video who get it already. I want to capture the "what the fuck is this" energy of three dudes just getting in the middle of it.

Also, I think that I really like the theme of the video capturing our lives as they go by, capturing us aging and changing. If you came back from the future and told me this video comes out in five years, I'd say great. If you told me it comes out in ten years, I'd say awesome. Until then, the latest edit will always be on Patreon, even if you have to dig a little.

[bookshopsbizarreblog]

Can we talk about how good the Moon Mining song in Midst S3E14 - Shindig is? Like, I've heard lots of songs across the various podcasts I've listened to, some of them quite good. But I have yet to encounter one that was situated in the story as masterfully as the Moon Mining song, or that conveys a fraction of the emotionality. Even without getting into story spoilers, the (at least seemingly) improvised nature of each verse, the layering of shouts and cheers and merry heckling to create a whole crowd leaning into it, the way each character expresses themself and their situation (and is expressed to us as the audience), and even just the way the song is introduced paint such a vibrant and lively setting. The entire 5-ish minutes just radiates a community coming together and having fun.

S2E4 - Weather used to be my favorite episode, as someone who has a deep love of cosmic horror and general eldritch shenans, but I've gone back to Shindig at least seven or eight times just to listen and relisten to that single song. I can't imagine not getting swept up in the revelry, and its position within the episode (and season overall) just sells it so much harder. More concrete spoilers beneath the cut.

If you haven't listened to Midst, please do. Gracious goodness, it's so good.

The entire episode is a rollercoaster of highs and lows for these characters and the community of Stationary Hill that we've gotten to love at this point. Sherman and Tzila finally arrive home, to celebration and joy. The community is barely recognizable but we've seen them band together and rebuild. And at a pinnacle of tension, after the gut punches of Hieronymus' confession to Saskia and the Vault demolition plan and Weepe's victory over Kozma, we finally get a brief break. But even that break is tainted with uncertainty and pain. Right before the song begins, we get Emmet's toast to the fallen, Sherman's uncertainty and fear of staying in Stationary Hill, all the festivities and merriment tinged bittersweet. And then the catharsis hits. It's not announced as a song. It's not a side bar where the ambiance cuts away so a tune can be inserted above the story. All we know is that Goe is getting on stage, and the narrators are saying we're missing something, but what? "That's right." "It wouldn't be a party on Midst without-" "Goe: It's time, you dang raskals!"

It's like the podcast version of show, don't tell. They could have laid out that a song was coming up. They could have even just launched into it. But by merely having uncertain build up and sudden increasing excitement and anticipation from the crowd, we get dragged along with it too. Straight from all the emotions of the previous conversations into this building energy with no clear outlet. It isn't until the cheers and diegetic voices demand "that friggin' moon tune," now that we are also fully on board, that the end point is revealed. And then it slaps.

The different methods of singing for each person, of which Saskia and Ettie (x2) and Ned (whose voice makes me understand the random background lady) stand out the most. Bets and Walter's and Tzila all representing different versions of how a kid would approach being asked to sing in front of their entire community. Sylvester and the chanting and everyone joining in on the chorus and the way each person's verse is a snippet of their life and perspective and situation and story without it being overbearing. It just. The whole thing. It screams of the close-knit Stationary Hill community, which then also pays off in another big way during the last episode.

I highly recommend listening to the song again, with headphones and the volume cranked up to get the full experience if you haven't already. I'm losing my mind over this song. If tumblr woulda let me, I would have just uploaded the full 5:19 clip I isolated, but unfortunately it wound up being too big to post. So here's the link to the time where the song specifically starts.

Thank you so much Third Person ( @midstpodcast ) for creating such a full and magical world.

[heartbreakgrill]

Black Paint; Vessel (Sleep Token)

a/n: i am so fucking proud of this and i hope you absolutely love it. pls don't anyone tell brittany or else i'll fucking kms. thx.

description: brittany broski and friends go see sleep token. the group's energy catches the attention of the band.

warnings: alcohol, smut, cringe wattpad y/n moment.

“Hey, guys, welcome back to the Broski report. I’m your host, Brittany Broski.”

She rambled the words out breathlessly, smile void on her face. I stifled a laugh from the seat beside her, especially as I knew the camera frame would then focus on me. 

She slammed her palms down onto the table, peering over at me with a blank expression, “Bitch.”

“I know,” I shrugged. My lips were pursed together, shoulders shaking as small giggles forced their way out of my nose. 

“Bitch!” She tilted her head from the microphone so as not to disturb the sound mix. 

I pressed a hand to my lips, dying of laughter now. “I know!” 

“Listen,” she pointed at the screen behind us, “there is no fucking time for introductions because this bitch…just ruined my life by introducing me to yet another GROUP masked men I will not and can not have!” 

“I know,” I nodded solemnly, still giggling. “I’m so sorry for what I have done to you.”

“Sleep Token,” Brittany yelled. I flinched from the volume, eliciting a soft, “Oh!”

“Sleep Token, guys,” she repeated. “Listen…before we even begin, we have a disclaimer for you horny sluts.”

I licked my lip as I silenced my laughter, looking seriously to the camera. “We do not condone the search for the identity of this band. Let them exist peacefully. If you know who they are, and you comment it on either of our platforms, anywhere, you will be blocked. Be respectful, shut the fuck up, and keep the mystery alive, kay?”

“Kay. Moving on! Sleep Token!”

It was my first time being on Brittany’s podcast. I was honored to have been asked, considering she didn’t often have anyone join her. But, considering I’d introduced her to the band I was currently hyper-fixating on, she needed me to provide my personal testimony. We spent most of the video appreciating their music, pointing out our favorite drum parts, lyrics, and Vessel vocals. Of course, we thirsted over the band, too. Why wouldn’t we have? They were hot as fuck and we were just girls. 

And, of course, the video blew up. Her podcast segments normally did, but this one reached new numbers even she could not have predicted. At one point, trending on TikTok was a video of me saying, “I would literally let this man do dirty, nasty, terrible things to me that my mom would disown me for. Things only bitches did in that fucking town of Sodom and Gamora. God would literally come down and rain hellfire over my apartment after I got done with that man.”

I wasn’t necessarily embarrassed by the videos that came out after my clip went viral, but it was a little silly. I just hoped the band didn’t have secret accounts that they stalked fans on. I would never want to know that- but Ijust hoped and prayed it wasn’t sure. 

Soon after we posted the video, the band announced a new leg of a North American tour. 

And, of course, we spent a shit load of money to get tickets. 

The months drug on before it was finally time for the concert. 

“Shot?”

Brittany held out the glass vial towards me, a knowing smile- brows raised, round eyes suggestive- egging me on. Not that I needed it- tonight was the perfect night to get trashed. Of course, with Brittany, that was most night’s. When we had filmed for the podcast? Oh, we were smashed. 

“Duh, bitch.”

I took it from her hold, wrapped my forearm around hers, and shared a low cheer before taking the shot. Our other friend Sarah Baska, was ordering herself something at the bar. Meanwhile, the liquid burned the back of my throat, sliding down my chest in it’s fiery path. A natural lightweight, I felt warm immediately. It was also just really hot in here. 

I then ordered some mixed drink. Sarah got more, harder liquor, as per usual. And, Brittany did another handful of shots for the road. After, we headed for the stairs, giggly and anticipatory. We spent extra money on a private box, both to shake our asses in a spacious area, and to be able to enjoy the concert without being bothered by fans the entire time. It was nice getting photos with them and meeting people who looked up to all of us. But, tonight, it would be nice to just exist as normal people at a normal concert. Besides, we were all here for Sleep Token. I wanted them to get all the worship that they deserved. 

Not that this was a normal concert. This was, in any devoted fan’s words, a night of worship to the god of Sleep. This was a ritual. Tonight, I would be shaking my ass extra hard for the little dancing vessel’s on that stage who were so fucking attractive, I could drool. 

We found our seats quickly. I was grateful for the space away from the thick, sweaty crowds- it was hot in here, even though I was wearing next to nothing. I really didn’t want my makeup- done heavier than normal thanks to Britt- to run. I did, however, hope that Vessel’s paint would smear a little extra from this heat. That was hot. 

We sat down in our seats for a few minutes, gushing about finally being at this ritual. I sipped at my drink, finishing it faster than I thought possible. I tended to drink heavier when my pulse rate was this high. My chest was really warm now, and I enjoyed it. It loosened me up quite a bit. I wasn’t really introverted, but I had anxiety when it came to these situations. Liquid courage was always nice to have. 

I shed my jacket on the back of my chair, exposing my midriff and bare arms. It cooled me down a bit. Brittany was rambling on about Vessel and some video she’d saw on TikTok the night before. I went to reply to her, to ask to see the video, when a staff member interrupted us, “Excuse me, ladies-”

We looked up him expectantly. His voice was quiet against the loud chatter of the crowd and the pre-show playlist thumping through the speakers. I leaned in close to him and strained to hear his next words. 

“These seats have food and drink service. Would you like anything?” He graciously held out a menu.

We nodded enthusiastically and ordered another round of shots and cocktails. Just as he returned with the tray of drinks, after we occupied ourselves by watching a handful of videos on Brittany’s phone, the lights dimmed for the opener. I tipped the server as I joined the crowd, on my feet, hooting and hollering. We quickly down our shots. 

The opener was pretty good. Brittany, Sarah, and I danced along to the songs, clapped when gestured to, and took a few embarrassing pictures for us to regret in the morning. I liked to spin in circles as I danced, rotating my hips to the beat. I made a stank face while doing so, drink raised to the sky like an offering. Brittany and Sarah would hype me up, pretending to swipe stacks of cash over me like rain, leaning into my momentum with hollers. The more I moved, the more the alcohol took over. I was completely lost in the music. 

When the opener took a bow, Brittany, Sarah, and I screamed, loudly. Loud enough that the opener noticed us. They waved up to our seats. I jumped up and down, splashing my drink over the railing, on the floor below. I waved wildly. The opener then blew a kiss and I nearly melted. I felt like a little girl at a One Direction concert. It was awesome. 

As the crew began tearing down the openers set, and putting together Sleep Token’s, more music streamed through the speakers. The server scurried off to get us more drinks. 

Because the opener had noticed us- twice- a few people in the crowd turned to look up at our seats. Now that the overhead lights were back on in the venue, a bunch of fans started calling out our names, waving excitedly. As they did, I Wanna Dance With Somebody started playing and the energy in the venue lifted completely. 

I set my drink down in my cup holder, needing both hands to go absolutely feral over the song choice. As the first verse began, I grabbed Brittany’s fingers in my clutch, serenading her through viscous screams. I swayed from foot to foot, hitting each beat with my hips. As Miss Houston sang, “My lonely heart calls…” I grabbed the railing from behind me, leaned myself over it, back arched and head upside down, towards the crowd. Everyone freaked out at the stupid move I did. I was sure to see clips of it in the morning. 

Then, the chorus started, and we jumped around like raging lunatics. We clapped our way through the song, entertaining the crowd like we were the real show. Eventually, the crew seemed to be finishing up their work onstage. The music started to fade, the lights dimmed, and the stage lit up with bright blue. I picked my drink back up, screeching my head off as the music started.

I swear to god that the band could hear us screaming from our side of the venue, jumping around like children, holding onto each other like we just might fall over. We were louder than, probably, the rest of the crowd. They started with Chokehold, which made me nearly lose my sanity. Vessel strutted out onto the stage like a literal god, rings shining in the light, blackened skin already slick with sweat. I bounced up and down to every beat, waving my hands with the crowd, spinning in circles, downing my drink like there was no tomorrow. I didn’t focus too much on how good he looked, caught up in the music. But, god, did I know he looked insane. 

At one point, Brittany and Sarah turned their phone flash on. They switched between that and taking videos on their phones, giving me all the spotlight. They made it like I was the fucking main character of the concert. And, I loved every second of it. 

At one point, the bassist noticed our flashing lights and mini dance circle. He pointed up at us, nodding his head in appreciation. I screamed my head off in response, gripping the railing and whipping my hair. He raised his hands like he had to defend himself from my energy and slunk off to the other side of the stage. Brittany pointed the camera in my face, “How do you feel?!”

“I’m shitting my pants right now!”

The concert went by quickly, too quickly. IV interacted with us a bunch, too, especially after he’d scream his lyrics and we’d go wild. Vessel, unfortunately, avoided our side of the stage. He was so lost in the music which was, honestly, amazing to witness. His silly dances combined with his insane vocals made for a great show. 

By the time The Offering started up, Brittany, Sarah, and I were absolutely trashed. I wasn’t too far gone because I was started to sweat out what was in my system. Yet, I was nowhere near sober. Anyways, maybe it was because we were being obnoxious and loud due to our drunken states- Vessel finally noticed us. It was at the beginning of the song, when he sang, “Take a bite…’ It came out like an animalistic growl, chilling the audience. 

He pointed his hands towards our balcony, though I’d like to think he was really just pointing at me, and whispered the sultry lyric. I melted to the ground, head thrown back as I yelled. Brittany grabbed my bicep to ensure I wouldn’t fall any further. She and Sarah hoisted me back up. We cackled into each other’s shoulders annoyingly. Then, as the drums picked up, we began moving with the rhythm again. 

Before we knew it, the concert was over. Vessel raised his hands in a bow. Then, he looked around the crowd, found our seats again, and shot us a small smile. I took the opportunity to blow him a kiss, enthusiastically throwing it through the air towards him. He grinned in response, looking to his feet as he shook his head, before slinking backstage. 

I plopped back down into my seat, already cracking open a water bottle. My chest heaved for air. I didn’t even know how to process anything that had happened. All I knew was, “I need to eat so many fries right now,” I breathed out, sweat slicking my skin. I sipped the water slowly. I could feel myself sobering up more and more. I was a little more conscious, but so damn hungry.

Sarah was talking to some people next to us who she knew. Brittany sat beside me. “Vessel literally wants you,” she said, nonchalantly, like she had read it in that morning’s paper. “Like…holy fuck.”

I cracked a smile and wiped a bead of sweat off of my brow. I checked my reflection in my phone. Luckily, my makeup had stayed intact. I replied with a silly tone, “Don’t even get me excited like that. It’s rude.”

“No, cause, he kept looking up here after The Offering,” Brittany said in a matter of fact manner, again. 

“Really?” I sat up in my seat, “No way! I must have been dancing too hard to notice.”

“Oh, you were shaking your ass,” she snickered with a grin.

“Ugh, he’s fucking sexy,” I continued on. We stared at the stage for a moment in one of those silences where neither drunk girl could really formulate any relevant response. Then, I kind of tossed my weary arms around, “Well, doesn’t matter. I bet he, like, doesn’t even date.”

“No, but he def fucks,” Brittany emphasized. We leaned into each other, laughing loudly. 

Sarah turned to us at the sound. She plopped down beside me and went to add to our conversation, but the familiar staff member who’d been supplying our drinks was interrupting again. Though, this time, he didn’t have a tray of alcohol. 

“Excuse me, ladies,” his favorite phrase. We all looked up at him, curious. He didn’t have to speak so loud, considering the venue was clearing out, so it was easier to hear. Whitney Houston was playing again. 

“The band is wondering if you’d like to come backstage for some refreshments?” He asked so casually that it took my brain a moment to process the information. 

I managed to play it really cool, but internally, I was basically shitting my pants. Brittany, however, gaped at the worker. She slowly turned her head towards Sarah and I with a wild look in her eyes, seeming like she might scream at any given moment.

Sarah snorted, “What fucking fanfiction did we just get thrown into?!”

“I don’t know, but I fucking love it,” I gushed back, staring at the worker. “What the fuck.” He shrugged back at me. 

Sarah shook her head with an amused grin, waving off the worker, “Listen, yall go, have fun. My friends offered to let us go out with them, so I’m gonna split off. I don’t think I could mentally handle meeting them right now. I think I’d, like, puke all over them.”

“But, then you could say that you’ve puked on Sleep Token!” Brittany smacked Sarah’s shoulder, reaching across my body. 

“Go!” Sarah shoved back, squishing me further between the two of them. “Go, so you can say that you puked on Sleep Token.”

“Yeah, I fucking will,” I pushed up out of my seat, an eager energy in my bones. 

Brittany and I followed the worker down the stairs, clutching each other’s arms. He ushered us through the remaining crowd gently, though we had to stop to take numerous photos- and make the occasional TikTok- with fans. They gushed about our dance moves, our podcast episode. It made everything feel even giddier. We eventually made it up to the stage, where we were guided behind these large black curtains disguising the dimly lit area of the sides. 

The crew worked hard on getting everything packed up, put away. We skirted between all of them, trying not to get in the way of it all. I kept checking my reflection in my phone’s front camera to ensure I looked okay. Most of the sweat had soaked itself up and my perfume was long lasting. Hopefully that was enough to rizz up Vessel. Not that I was counting on that. It would be awesome, but I was actually excited to have a conversation with all of them. I would soon learn that was not what he wanted from me tonight. 

We went down another set of stairs and stopped before a closed door. Behind it, we could hear music playing over a speaker, a few sets of voices cheering and chattering. The worker knocked, kindly, and the voices cut themselves off. 

“Come in!” A thick British accent called out.

I took a deep, drunken breath as the worker turned the door knob. And, my stomach dropped when he pulled open the door.

Sleep Token sat, lounged out across their dressing room, on various couches. They wore those familiar masks, their stage costumes- save for a few layers- and clutched some drinks in their blackened hands. My eyes found Vessel last, who was leaning against the counter of the vanity, a drink sat beside his left hand. He had shed his cloak, so visible to us was his paint-smeared chest and back. I tried not to let my eyes wander too much- but they did. 

III stood from the couch, excitedly dancing his way over to the door where we stood. The worker abandoned us. “‘Ello, darlings!” III called out. 

He hugged Brittany first, bent down because of his insane height. As he did, I couldn’t rip my eyes from the slits of Vessel’s mask. I somehow knew that he was staring at me- probably because his distant gaze burned my skin. Then, III was pulling me into his chest, “It’s so lovely to meet you…”

“Brittany,” she gestured to herself, then to me, “Y/n. Dude, thanks so fucking much for having us! We had an absolute blast. Your performance is just- wow!”

IV and II approached us next, as III pulled us a bit further into the room. III busied himself with pouring us each a drink as we introduced ourselves to IV and II. 

“We’re so glad you had a good time worshiping,” IV cracked, hugging Brittany, “makes it all the more worth it.”

I grinned at his words as he embraced me, too, still occasionally glancing at Vessel. II added on, “Sure you’re exhausted from all that dancing. Have a seat.”

III wrapped an arm around Brittany’s shoulder, passing a drink to her hand, as he brought her onto the couch beside him. IV and II moved to stt back where they had been, probably assuming I was following. I clutched nervously to the drink III had given me. I may be drunk, but not drunk enough to not act stupid in front of men I wanted to fuck. The nerves were crashing down me instead, making me stoic, overthinking my own breathin. 

I looked back at Vessel, again, who had been quiet thus far. He held out a hand, an offer for me to come sit beside him. I hesitated, for just a moment, before taking it. His fingers were warm, even his rings, and I noticed that black paint smudged itself across my skin as I took my hand from his. I leaned up against the counter beside him as I admired the paint. 

III, IV, and II struck up a lively conversation with Brittany, full of teases and easy topics. I watched until I felt that burning stare on the side of my face again. I looked up at Vessel, a small smile forming across my lips. He returned the expression. 

“Lovely to meet you, Y/n,” his voice was just as deep as his singing tone. It sent a shiver down my spine. 

I shifted on my feet, glanced around, before returning his gaze again. “You, too, Vessel,” I took a sip of the drink in my hand. 

He chuckled down at me. My knees rocked. “So…you like Whitney Houston, yeah?.”

My face turned beat red at the realization that he had seen a lot more than I hoped. I pressed a hand over my face, groaning, “Oh, god. You saw that?”

Vessel brushed his shoulder against mine. More paint took it’s place there in my skin. “I saw everything.”

I crinkled my nose, “Ugh, that was just…I don’t claim to be a good dancer, just so you know.”

Vessel shrugged, “I beg to differ.”

Shaking my head at his words, I waved him off, “Don’t even…I just, like, throw myself around like a fucking rag doll.”

“No,” he drug out the word, deep voice reverberating in my chest, “no, you have some rhythm in those hips.” His head tilted down as he eyed my body. 

There was a beat of silence that passed between us. I examined his mask. I think I knew then that I wouldn’t be leaving until this man fucked me senseless, but my foggy, drunken brain thought still that maybe I was just being delusional. 

It wasn’t until he opened his mouth, again, that I was certain. He drug his tongue over his bottom lip, as though he was searching for the right words to say. My eyes followed the wet, pink organ with a blank stare. 

Vessel thought for another moment before leaning his mouth down towards my ear. He pressed his hand against my hip, fingers curling around my bare skin exposed there. His breath was hot against the side of my neck, though I shivered again. “I want to see how those hips would move on me.”

I flushed, bright red again, the alcohol making the heat on my blotchy skin worse. Vessel pulled away, a smirk ever-present on those pink lips, black staining the outer edges. It took all of my self control not to lick it clean, right then and there. I wanted him- needed him. And, he knew it. 

Vessel searched my eyes with that curl in his lips. I was unable to come up with a proper response. But, I think he found what he was looking for in my dilated pupils and rising chest. “Be a good girl for me? Yeah?”

Vessel offered up his hand again. I entwined my fingers in his, my own smile finally finding its place on my mouth. Vessel took my cup and chugged it, tossed it into the trash, and led us from the room. 

I followed like a puppy-dog, hot on his heels. He guided me so carefully, looking back occasionally to ensure I was okay. Then, he threw open a door at the end of the hallway we traveled down. It was dark in the room, with only a small lamp in the corner to illuminate our hushed desperations. Vessel locked the door behind us after he ushered me inside. He spun me around and forced himself against my chest, pressing my back against the door. It knocked the wind right out of me. My chest rose and fell as I took rapid, deep breaths. Vessel held me by my hip, again, thumb brushing against my bare skin gently. 

“Is this okay?” He whispered as he brought a hand to my face, cupping my cheek. 

I barely nodded, entranced by the stare coming from behind his mask. I had enough focus to touch my hands to his chest, though, running my fingers up and down his toned stomach. The paint smeared beneath my knuckles, revealing more of his pale skin. I watched it mix with our sweat with hopeless admiration in my gaze. 

Vessel looked down at my hands, too, a smirk still present on his face. But, then he forced my chin up, so my eyes were on his mask, and said, “Use your words, darling.”

“Y-yes,” I shuddered, voice breathless. 

Vessel pressed me harder against the door as our lips met, tongues clashing against teeth, hungrily. We moved together so easily, entranced by the other’s taste. I gripped at his sides, pulling me into him, arching my back to press my chest against his. Vessel’s hold tightened, too, and he ground my hips against his. 

I felt him get hard, quickly, the loose material of his pants allowing his erection to fully grind against my thigh. He was whiney, all gasping breaths, low moans, as I drug my fingers down his chest, dipped them through his waistband. I nearly got to feel him, but Vessel grabbed my hand harshly in his, slamming it up against the door, above my head. My eyes shot back open in surprise. I don’t remember closing them.

“S’all about you right now, darling,” he demanded, words against my lips. 

Vessel shoved his head into the crevice of my neck, nipping and tonguing at my flesh. My eyes dropped shut again, head hitting the door in a way that would probably hurt tomorrow. I had a feeling all of me would hurt tomorrow. But, I didn’t care. 

Vessel drug his fingers up my arms, leaving goosebumps in his path, trails of black paint like a roadmap amongst my freckles. He slid the straps of my dress down past my shoulders. Then, he kissed his way down to the arch of my breasts. He rolled the material between his teeth and sunk to the floor as he drugged it down my body. Vessel was on his knees below me. 

Vessel looped an arm around either of my thighs, nearly pulling my entire weight onto his shoulders. I clutched onto the top of his head, feeling some of his hair slip out from the cap he wore beneath his mask. It was soft, though just a bit sweaty. He glanced up at my bare breasts, smirking devilishly now

He admired my face as he said, “I watched you worship me all night. It’s my turn to pray at your altar.” STOPPED HERE. 

My head hit the door again as Vessel sunk his tongue into me. He had managed to tear my underwear down with his teeth and they were now laying across the room. I ground my hips into his face, back arching each time his nose would then rub against my sweet spot. I tried to be quiet at first, though small gasps and moans slipped from my bitten lips. 

But, then, Vessel stopped, eliciting a whine from me. He chuckled, lips slick from me. He darted his tongue out, smirking as he cleaned his mouth. He tilted his head in disappointment, “You were so loud for me earlier, darling. What happened to that good girl? I want to hear how good I am making you feel.”

I nodded, dazed, brows furrowed, fingers digging at his hair. The cap had fallen off his head at this point, but the mask managed to stay on. I was grateful it did. The mystery alive energized both of our primal desires.. 

Vessel watched my face as he pressed his tongue back up into me, running the tip of it down my entire core. I moaned, loudly, back arched into the cold air, nipples hard from the temperature and arousal. 

He chuckled into me, making my thighs shake around his head. Vessel pried me back open with his fingers bruising my skin. He continued on until I was close. I vocalized my point of no return, and he hurriedly spoke, “Don’t. Be a good girl and wait. For me, okay?”

I nodded wildly, clenching my stomach to deny myself of the orgasm. Vessel gently set my feet back on the ground. He guided me by the hips towards a counter. Easily, he picked me up and set me on it. It was freezing cold against my bare skin, but his warm hands, tongue, were on me soon enough. I took the opportunity to unlatch his belt, fingers moving hurriedly. Vessel moved to help me, tugging the pants down his thighs. 

Vessel then pushed me back from him, taking control again. He pushed my legs open further with his bare knee. Then, he grabbed me by the hips and tugged me down till my back was flat against the counter. His hand splayed across my thigh as he pushed himself inside of me. 

He was sloppy, quick in desperation as he fucked me. But, every thrust he pushed into me was strong, deep. Vessel wrapped my legs around his waist, securing me by the hip. His other hand drug itself up my chest until his fingers were wrapped around my throat. Black paint smeared most of my skin. There was even a ring around his mouth where the paint had transferred from his skin to my own. I don’t know how we would manage to keep this rendezvous a secret from everyone else with the state we were both in. But, right now, I couldn’t care.

Vessel leaned himself overtop of me, his forehead against my chest. Though, he was dominating me, he was so caught up in the pleasure that he was starting to quickly come undone. I touched his back, nails digging into his skin. He tossed his head back at the sensation, neck exposed to me. I eyed the veins protruding from his skin. 

He smirked at me when he noticed I was staring at his neck. He growled, “Take a bite.”

I held one hand, tightly, to his shoulder, keeping him steady as he fucked me. But, I gripped the back of his head with the other. I was slow at first, nipping at his neck gently. Vessel’s thrusts were becoming sloppy with each bite I took. I was close, too. So, I opened my jaw further, taking a pinch of his skin between my upper and lower canines. I bit down, hard. 

“Fuck!”

He quickly pulled out and came on my stomach. As he did, I felt myself come undone. Vessel pressed his forehead against mine as we rode out our high. We came down from the top and he gave me a sloppy kiss. 

There was a bitter cold left on my skin as he stepped back. I hugged myself, finally taking in the black paint covering my skin. “Oh, god,” I laughed. 

Vessel pulled his pants up. He looked at my body, grinning, “Fuck. That’s so hot. Darling, if we had more time…”

“I know,” I smiled up at him. 

“Here, there’s a bathroom over here,” Vessel spoke as he finished buckling his belt. He offered me his hand. 

I followed him into the side room. He found a washcloth on the side of the sink, clean and unused, and wet it with warm water. Vessel gently pried my hands from covering my body and busied himself with wiping down my skin. He focused on what would be visible: My arms, neck, hands, face. I watched him while he worked. It was fucking hot when he was dominating, disgustingly dirty. But, this, this caring demeanor? I’d fuck him again in a heartbeat. 

When he was finished, he rounded up my dress, shoes, and underwear. He turned away, without a question, while I dressed. I was no longer nervous, so I wouldn’t have minded if he watched. But, he was respectful. 

“Okay,” I breathed out, pulling my final dress strap back up and over my shoulder. 

Vessel faced me. I was finally able to take in his face and had to cover my mouth to stifle my laughter. He frowned, slightly, confused by my laughter. “What? What is it?”

I touched his shoulders, forcing him to face the mirror. His head pulled back in shock at his appearance. 

I kept laughing and Vessel peered down at me with a tilted head. “Keep laughing, darling.”

“I’m sorry,” I shrugged, “it’s fo fucking funny.”

“What’s funny?” 

I yelped, trying to duck out of the way as he jolted towards me. He caught me by the waist, rattling me around in his hold. I giggled, loudly against his chest, trying to twist out of his hold. His mouth was near my ear as he teased me, “Not so funny now, huh?”

I rested my forehead to his shoulder in my fit of laughter. Vessel calmed his movements, just holding me against him now. “It just goes to show the mess you make out of me,” he murmured against my ear, lips pressed to the shell. 

I looked up at him and pointed a warning finger, “Don’t do that.”

“I know,” he huffed as he tossed his head back in frustration. “We should be getting back.”

“Sadly,” I wrapped my arms around his neck. 

He admired my face for a few moments, silent, until he smiled softly, “Can I get your number?”

“Maybe,” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know, I kind of like to just fuck and dump, ya know?”

“I won’t let you do that, darling,” his voice dropped low again. 

“Okay, you’ve gotta stop doing that or I’m never going home.”

Vessel cupped my cheek in his hand, nearly void of paint, “I’d be okay with that.”

“I’m gonna walk away now.”

Vessel didn’t let go, however, as I made a move to step towards the bathroom door. In fact, he held me tighter. He pressed another kiss to my lips. “Can’t go anywhere looking that, darling,” he twisted me around to face the mirror, long arms cradling my waist. 

I reached for the washcloth and wiped off my face. I faced him again and cleaned up his mouth, just enough so that it wasn’t completely obvious he’d eaten me out. We spent another moment teasing each other, eliciting more giggles from my throat. But, we figured we should get back. 

So, he took my hand again and led us back down the hallway. I flushed red as soon as the door was pulled open, considering the entire band and Brittany snapped their heads towards us. 

“Way to leave your sister!” Brittany exclaimed, holding up a cup of what could only be whiskey. “Dude, you’re missing out on some insane stories right now. Come, sit.” She patted the couch next to her. 

I glanced up at Vessel as I took my hand from his. II, IV, and III greeted me with kind eyes and small greetings. “Hey, sorry,” I said as I plopped onto the couch. “He was just showing me the, uh…”

We hadn’t come up with an excuse. So, my words fell off my tongue with no resolution. Vessel shoved his hands in his pockets, quickly stuttering out, “Backstage. Just the backstage area. She wanted to see how everything works.”

Brittany nodded, oblivious to the elephant in the room. “Dope. You’ll have to show me next.”

“We can do a group tour,” IV offered. 

Everyone agreed, enthusiastically, and we all stood to pile out the door. III and I were the last ones seated. I met his dark eyes, smiling kindly at him. His gaze dropped to my thighs, brows raising beneath his mask suggestively. 

I followed his eyes down. Where my dress had ridden up my thighs was a long line of smeared paint, not to mention reddened hickies that were starting to sprout up. I pressed my lips together and quickly tugged the material down over my legs. 

III patted my knee as he stood, “You were the one going crazy during The Offering, love.”

I gaped after him as his words lingered in the air before me. Vessel stood just beside the door, awaiting my presence. As III passed by him, he took Vessel by the chin and tilted his head. 

He tsked at the bruising bite mark on Vessel’s neck. I shoved my face into my hands, face beyond burned.

III whispered, “Take a bite.” 

It wasn’t until a few days later, when Brittany and I were hanging out, looking through concert videos with nostalgia, that she found out. I was nervous to tell her. Besides, Vessel and I were starting to see each other, so I didn’t want to expose his private life too much. I trusted her, but I just overthought it all. Apparently, though, I hadn’t enough overthinking.

I had just made a post on Instagram, making the photo we took with the band the cover photo for a dump. It blew up immediately. Brittany and I were reading comments as they came in, dying of laughter at some of the shit people were saying. 

“No, hand placement is so real!” Brittany exclaimed. She shoved her phone in my face, showing me the zoom-in of Vessel’s hand on my hip. I blushed and shoved it away. She kept scrolling. 

“Wait,” her voice trailed off. 

I glanced at her and watched as her brows furrowed. She tapped around, zoomed in a bunch, scrolled through comments. I looked back to my phone just as a new comment began blowing up with responses and likes. 

User- so is no one gonna talk about vessel’s paint on y/n’s thigh and her very obvious sex hair?

“YOU FUCKING BITCH!”

[strniohoeee]

Dolor Pt. 2

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N hasn’t seen Chris in a year and a half, but with the help of her friend she’s surprised by them🤭 Will those feelings still be there for one another?

Warnings⚠️: None, I’m not too sure how I feel about this one, but I had no other idea on how to write it so I hope y’all enjoy 🙃

Song for the imagine: ANGEL- Brent Faiyaz

Read part 1 here🫶🏽

Don’t ever leave my side, baby I’ll die

But from what I know, you’re always here to stay

You’re an angel in disguise

It has been a solid year and half since Chris and I broke up, a solid year and half of never seeing him or his brothers. It was very hard, but it also flew by. I wasn’t sure where a year and half went. It was honestly scary.

We both told each other we’d love to cross paths, and reconnect in a few months to be friends, but life got in the way, and that never happened. I’m honestly glad it didn’t, we were both so busy I believe it helped us move on from one another faster.

We all stood mutuals with each other on instagram and TikTok, but we just didn’t interact with each other. I watched them grow in all aspects, and it was amazing. I thought I’d be there to witness it first hand, but instead I was watching from the sidelines….it hurt me, but it had to be done.

My TikTok was flooded with videos of them from their tour they were just on, and it’s honestly crazy how much people can change in a year and a half. That didn’t even look like Chris. He was much more mature looking, sculpted cheekbones, shorter hair, stubble on his face…..Chris was looking good.

I shook that feeling off because I could not allow myself to fall back in love with Chris. It took me a long time to move on from him. I will always love the kid, but to fall out of love was hard. I hadn’t seen or talked to any other guys since splitting with Chris, and I wasn’t too sure if that was the same with him. Deep down I hoped it was.

I was scrolling on TikTok one day when I saw a clip of the triplets from their recent podcast video, they were doing a Q and A video, and somehow Chris pulled out a question asking about me. I decided to watch the video

“Okay so this person says how’s Y/N, and how have you been since the breakup. I’m currently going through my own break up right now, and I just need some advice” Chris read out

“So uh this is a good question. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve last seen Y/N, and it’s crazy to say it’s been that long, but it has. With the relationship we had and how special it was it took me a full year to finally be able to feel okay, and understand why we split up. It hurt and some part of me still hurts, but we told each other the night we broke up that we both will be okay because we’re strong, and that’s something I’ve been holding on to. I presume that she’s okay, I’ve seen her instagram posts and her TikTok’s, and she looks amazing. I actually really miss the girl. So I hope she’s doing great, and for you going through your break up just know everything happens for a reason and you’ll be okay take your time and work on yourself” he said

Oh god this was making it so hard for me not to call Chris and ask to see him….I missed him so badly

I scrolled some more and another clip popped up

“This person wants to know do you still love Y/N” Nick asked Chris

“Oh 100% that woman is my everything. Like we’ve said in the past we hope to cross paths again” Chris said nodding his head

This has to be a sign? Like this has to be a sign that I have to see him, that Chris and I are meant for each other right? Or am I being delusional……

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to call him, text him or just ignore all this and keep it pushing in life. I felt torn between my decisions

Today I was getting ready to film with Larray and Arrington. I had gotten so close to them within the last year, and we always filmed together. Larray was my biggest supporter in all this, and he was also friends with the triplets which kind of made it hard, but he never got in between anything. Although he hoped and prayed that we’d get back together one day I always told him time will tell.

He had an idea where we all stay in his car for 24 hours with special guests. I wasn’t sure who these guests were, and I wasn’t sure why he wanted us to stay in a car for 24 hours, but I agreed I knew it would be fun.

I had driven over to Larrays house, and let myself in

“YOOOOO” I yelled from the door

“Were in hereeee” Arrington yelled back

Oh god I was the last one here….I hated this, but anyways I walked to Larrays room, and when I walked in my heart sank

“Oh” was all I said as I walked in

“Hiiiii baby” Larray said, causing everybody to turn around with him the triplets face dropping

“What’s? Uh….whats going on” I said looking at Larray

“We’re filming a video, and I brought my friends” he said back

“It’s been so long” Chris said looking at me saddened

“It ummm it has” I said smiling at him

“We have missed you so fucking much….holy shit” Nick said running over and hugging me

“Uhh it’s been so fucking long I missed yall too” I said hugging him

“Matt you look so different now” I said jaw dropping and giving him a hug

“Good different I hope” he said hugging me

“Of course good different” I said laughing at him

I moved to Chris

“You look so different too” I said pulling him in for a hug

“I’ve missed you” he said hugging me tighter

“Missed you too” I said pulling away

After chatting for a bit Larray decided to film his introduction for his channel

“Alright bitches we are filming a 24 hour car video today, and of course I had to bring in my ride or dies Arrington and Y/N” he said and both Arrington and I made an entrance

“And then you know Larray had to stir the pot, so he brought the triplets” Arrington said to the camera causing us to laugh

“As uhhh most of you know there’s uh an elephant in this room between uh two people, but ummm we won’t talk about it” Larray said

And we just laughed at him

“You are so messy” I said to him rolling my eyes playfully

“Alright let’s get to the car bitches” he said and we ran out

I sat in the passenger seat, Chris and Arrington in the back, and then Nick and Matt in the third row

“Alright so right now we’re driving to Target which is 45 minutes away because Larray decided to do this video during rush hour” I said to the camera

“Uh- is that a drag?” He asked me

“It sure is” I said to him

“So Y/N….you said Matt looks different….you already had Chris so will you try another brother” Arrington asked me

I looked back at him jaw on the floor, as Chris and his brothers were laughing

“You weirdo Arrington, I will not fucking get with Matt” I said shaking my head

“Could you believe this kid” I said looking at the camera

“Ouuuu the fans want to know how many boyfriends since Chris” Larray asked me

“Boyfriends plural? Do they think I’m a slut….its only been a year and a half guys, and there’s been zero guys since Chris” I said shrugging my shoulders

“OHHHHHH CHRISSSS” Larray and Arrington yelled at him hyping him up

“She loves me too much to do that” Chris said to the camera

“Uh-“ I said turning around to look at him

“I’m just kidding” he said and touched my face playfully

“SAW THAT” Nick and Matt yelled from the back

We had finally gotten to Target, and Chris and I were paired up to go on the hunt for some things, and we had to vlog it together

“Alright guys I’m here with uh….my ex” I said to the camera

“What a great reunion” he said looking at the camera

“Who would’ve thought a year and a half later we’d be in Target shopping for a video together” I said looking at him

“I honestly thought it would’ve happened sooner, but I mean hey” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Oh whatever” I said rolling my eyes at him

Him and I were doing some shopping and grabbing some stuff, and we had found ourselves in the coloring book aisle

“Look the Disney coloring book, your favorite” he said leaning down to grab it

“You remembered?” I asked him

“Of course I did, and you only get specific coloring pencils cause you’re weird” he said laughing

“Hey don’t be mean” I said laughing at him

“It’s cute” he said smiling at me

“Do you ever think about us?” I asked him

“Pretty often actually” he said looking at me

“Do you think you see a future with me” I asked him

“I’ve thought about this a lot, and every time I picture my future you’re a main character in it” he said looking into my eyes

“This year and a half has been rough, and I so badly wanted nothing more than to cave and call you over, and just hold you tight” I said looking down

“I sat in my room for so many nights wondering if the decision I made was right, and after a while I just became numb to the feeling, but I want this again….I want us” he said

“I think we should start slow first. I want us to truly work out this time no break ups no nothing” I said to him

“I think so too, you should come film with us again we miss you so much, and the fans miss you too” he said

“I’ve seen…all over my tik tok” I said smiling at him

“Yeah they love you and I love you too so much” he said pulling me in for a hug

We finished vlogging some, and headed back to the car with everybody getting back in our original seats

“Okay everybody we are back, we’re going to go eat something and then we’ll be back in the car for the next 24 hours” Larray said

After we ate we went back into Larrays car trying to stick out this challenge and just chatting with each other asking each other questions

“How many girlfriends since Y/N?” Larray asked Chris

“None. I told yall she’s the love of my life” he said looking at the camera

“Awww Chris” I said looking at him

“HEY CITY GIRLS UP. Do not fall for this” Arrington said

“Shut the fuck up” I said laughing at him

“What’s one regret you have” Nick asked us

“I think my biggest regret was completely dropping you guys out of my life. Like no interactions no nothing that hurt the most” I said to them

“We appreciate that” Matt said

“How do you guys feel after seeing each other” Matt asked Chris and I

“Is this a hot seat? What are we doing” Chris said

“Shut the fuck up and answer” Nick said

“I feel at peace, like seeing him was the last piece to my puzzle. I still love Chris of course, and we’re hoping to take things slow, and eventually get together again” I said to them

“Yeah. I love her so much, and seeing her today brought back all those memories. Memories that made my heart flutter, and I knew I couldn’t let her go again” he said looking at me

“Yall cute as shit this has got to stop” Larray said

“So yall heard it here first they are back together” Arrington said to the camera

“WOAH WOAH NO” we both said putting our hands out

“We are taking it slow…we are not dating yet, and trust me you guys will know when we’re back together. It’s a maybe for right now” I said to the camera

“But she will be in our videos again” Chris said

“SHE WILL?” Nick and Matt said

“Yes she will!” He said to them

“FUCK YES FINALLY” Nick said getting excited

We had chatted for a good thirty more minutes before we decided this challenge was not going to happen

“Alright guys we did not make it, but we love you and we’re heading inside now” Larray said

“BYEEEEEE” we all yelled to the camera, Chris pulling me in and kissing my forehead

“Are you guys going to soft launch your comeback before I post this?” Larray asked us

“You know that’s not a bad idea actually” I said looking at Chris

“We could do that. I’d love to do that” he said pulling me in and kissing my cheek

“Yall soft launching but he smoochin on you” Matt said looking at us

“Uhhhh mind your business” Chris said sticking his tongue out at him

“OMG to keep it like private you guys could do like a couples shadow picture” Nick said

“Waittttt I love that let’s do it” I said to Chris

We had snapped the picture, and Chris posted it collabing with me once again so I can post and share it. Nick and Matt also shared it to their story saying the gangs back together and they can’t wait to film with me again. Immediately the love we got was INSANE

❤️nicolassturniolo,matthew.sturniolo,larray, and 450,000 others

christophersturniolo: I told you guys we’d always always find a way back to one another. Although we aren’t dating again we will be thinking about it for our future. I love this girl with my whole fucking heart, and I’m so glad we’re in each others lives again. She was my right person at the wrong time.My number one girl💍. Were back BITCHESSSSS🥳

Sturnioloteam: STFU THEYRE BACK

arringtonallen: mhmmm I was here for this picture so back off everyone

nicolassturniolo: mama and papa🫡

matthew.sturniolo: yall cute or whatever…..

larray: yall can thank me for this reunion MHMM💅🏽

Y/Nusername: my number one guy…love this kid so much💋

sturnioloooooo: I knew mom and dad would find each other again

The immense love we received was insane. Had you told me a year and a half ago today that all that pain would be gone, and we would find each other again I would laugh in your face. I guess I am making it to the end of his story….🥀

The End

I hope you guys liked this one I feel ehhh about it, but I had to have a happy ending🥹 but anywho let me get to writing some more 🖤

-J💅🏽

[desire-mona]

this most definitely isnt an original thought and i've probably heard it on a podcast before but. i am so married to todd's sweaty tooth madman poem being a metaphor for not accepting being gay.

so here's me picking the whole thing apart (and not proofreading anything)

so starting with

the sweaty toothed madman of course being walt whitman, who we all know is (at least rumoured to be) gay. now the interpretation of whitman being a metaphor for todd's sexuality is nothing new, but i'd like to expand on it.

"i close my eyes and this image floats beside me"

i see this as any moment todd has to himself, no matter where he is, he is reminded whitman/ the fact that he's gay. the specific usage of closing your eyes to mean that the image/ reminder is always there, always following. i see the use of the words "beside me" in a couple different ways. either to suggest that the reminder is just out of view, being pushed away just enough to not be the main focus and more something you see in your peripheral, or in a 3rd person perspective, seeing todd and the imagery of walt beside eachother, coinciding with eachother. i could see both interpretations working equally as well, or even comined.

"the sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain"

THIS LINE. i loooove his use of sweaty toothed!!!!!

if you're not sure what sweaty toothed means, it just kinda means ur teeth r. wet. drooly mouth. i see this madman being sweaty toothed to mean that he's "hungry", not literally, but more desiring something. this being truth, which i'll get into later.

the stare that pounds my brain. oh man. ok so obviously this means that the image/ thought is intimidating, terrifying, threatening. the implication that todd being gay is as much of a threat to his life/ wellbeing as a madman that has it out for him, both ideas causing him an insane amount of stress.

this line is fairly simple to me, the reminder goes from something that terrifies you but ultimately can go unacknowledged, to a constant, overbearing thought that suffocates you enough that you HAVE to face it in some way or another. todd is facing it fearfully, letting it take control of him and how he acts rather than tackling the idea himself. he is defenseless against this part of him

truth (ur gay)

todd thinkin this truth will leave him unsatisfied in life :-( not only in the love sense tho! with his family too, if they find out god forbid, theyll surely view him differently and cast him off even farther than they already do. i also like to think this is him lowkey complaining that the blankets at welton are too small.

this also, devastatingly enough, reminds me of the bit from rocketman where elton comes out to his mom.

clip from rocketman (2019)

and he's mumbling. he's mumbling! this truth is still cloudy, not full realised, still being pushed away. whitman wants the truth, todd wants the truth, but he's still not ready, everything's still uncertain. this uncertain truth could also pertain to todd's feelings toward neil specifically, but i dont think that was the intention. todd does exist as his own person!

this ones simple again. you can fight off your feelings and sexuality all you want but it still wont really lead you anywhere you wanna be. you either end up marrying someone you dont love (women), or you end up alone. also the heavy emphasis on physical violence toward the Truth Blanket could be a metaphor for the physical danger todd would be in if anyone found out, but im not hellbent on that idea.

god. "from the moment we enter crying, to the moment we leave dying," is a BEAUTIFUL way to convey "your entire life" todd you have such a way with words. anyway. i take this as something like. this is something you're born with and cant change, todd was born gay, obviously, and it will never go away with any amount of effort. hence the wailing, crying, and screaming.

also i view the specific line of "it will just cover your face" in a couple different ways. either to mean this truth will suffocate you no matter what you do, or this truth will leave you needing to hide major parts of yourself from the world.

this got a bit repetitive, i apologise. but i still have more to say.

some parts of this poem i find to be a bit too wordy to have been come up with on the spot. do i think todd is talented enough to do so? absolutely! but i just dont think that's the case. i have no doubt in my mind that a LOT of what he said in front of the class was either already on his mind, or was written down beforehand but eventually scrapped.

specifics i have in mind are the concepts of a sweaty toothed madman and a blanket that leaves your feet cold. i dont think this sweaty toothed madman was written specifically with whitman in mind, i think it was just a vessel for his anxiety generally. but the blanket i just KNOW was thought out and written down with the intention to like. be a metaphor for being unsatisfied.

and that only makes the class laughing at that line that much worse, no wonder he wanted to stop! not only was todd incredibly brave for continuing after, but keating was unimaginably quick to get the focus back to the poem. he knew that metaphor meant something to todd, and choosing to expand on that was actually an amazing way to drive that home.

either way, todd's far more brave than i ever could be. i'd be shitting myself up there.

also if u disagree with any of these points are wanna add anything then TELL MEEEE!!! art is anything but subjective and i looove seeing how you guys view things like this.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I remember this one time when Meghan said in her interview/podcast (or someone said this in her behalf) that Meghan was bullied relentlessly in school because everyone thought she was perfect, and I laughed my ass off at how off kilter someone's self assessment can be. Ifnwo deed then how she and why she was saying this. And now I think that was major projection because at some point she may done some reflection on why she has so many problems with Catherine of all people.

I think this photogate scandal explains that theory - that someone can be bullied because of their perfect image. A lot of other celebs are able to shake off major scandals of they have a perfect public image. For example, if someone came and said a horrible thing about Meryl Streep most people would simply ignore it. But it's because there is a huge PR machinery behind a celeb,and a huge celeb is a huge money making opportunity for those directly linked to them. So everyone from the agent to the associated brand goes into salvage mode.

When it comes to Catherine though, because her position she does not and cannot rely on a project created narrative. she is not an celeb, or a performer, she is a famous person. And even though she has been in the public eye for nearly 20 years, her role wasn't even constitutionally relevant till 8th Sept 2022, the day she became Princess of Wales. And even now, it is because of the constitutionally relevant role that her husband has.

This uniqueness of her position, the subltle nuance of that, is hard for the layman to grasp. Especially an American audience that culturally is very celeb and money centric. I say this because I do believe that controversial opinions and the wildfire of speculations about her are majorly coming from American commentators. American social media creators who rely on 40/20 sec clips on tiktok and insta have found that "where is Kate" is the biggest most lucrative click bait right now, and everybody and their grandma now has an opinion on it.

We live in a world of Charlene, Dubai princesses, Thai prinesses, North Korean dictators daughters/sisters/wife but we don't touch that with a 100 ft pole. Because it's uncomfortable. Because we know that noone is going to do anything to look into that.

But Catherine and husband's relationship is a free for all, all day buffet. Because she made herself available and catered to public's sensibilities. And when she drew a boundary she wouldn't budge. So everyone's sentiments get hurt now. The same people who gossip about her now would happily call her a step Ford wife and a clothes horse but ohh and ahh over her coat dresses and shiny hair and lovely shoes.

Noone stops for a second to think that maybe this woman is feeling unwell, is recovering from a surgery, has a serious medical issue and would like to recover at home without having to put on makeup and fake small talk with strangers.

We cry about feminism and equality and women's rights, but only applaud women who exhibit overt ambition. If a woman wants to stay at home, and is able to afford that, it's problematic. We want a woman to value self love and self care but if she prioritizes her health and care above public opinion she is dragged through the mud. Her health, her looks, her morals, her husband's morals, integrity, family values, privacy, her children's health, children's right to privacy....everything is open to discussion. And it's ok.

It's shameful and appalling that not ONE journalist, not one person with power, not one paper, publication or news Network has publicly spoken out in her favour and called out the bullying. This is not a Photoshop issue. It's just disguised as one. This gleeful gossiping about her "disappearance" is a gross violation of her rights.

Everything you've said is spot on. It is 100% American busybodies driving the criticism, controversy, and scandal. We/they don't understand what it's like to have someone who is above celebrity because our culture sees celebrity fame as the objective end-goal, so we demand for everyone to fit into our model of celebrity.

And while I have to give Meghan the benefit of the doubt and agree that she may have been bullied at school, I don't think it was for being perfect. That's Kate's story. All Meghan has done, since 2016, is portray Kate's life story as hers.

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

Okay I want to hear your thoughts on sapnap and mcc bc oh boy that sounds interesting

No because, genuinely there are old clips of people laughing when they bring him up because they know he's popular but they don't want to see anything bad about him. Like you can barely tell it's chuckle.

As you may know originally teams were categorised based on 2 factors. Vibes. And if they could go a long period of time without swearing or not.

In the Skizz and Imp podcast, Scott laments about how it was so hard to categorize people who could not go an extended period of time with swearing in their stream and with people who could not stop swearing.

And there is more people who are PG/ can go a long time without swearing, then non-pg people, the podcast was recorded roughly a bit before the sapnap drama with MCC but it was still bubbling.

I need you to go back and watch that podcast because even if they were clear examples you can still sense who he's talking about, because genuinely sapnap would swear so much but even non-pg people wanted to avoid playing with him. If you go back to watches old MCC wins you can hear the nervous chuckles of people when he begin to swear.

Additionally one time they were trying out a new system on MCC and a lot of people were aware of that and it came out that the math was wrong and two teams should have got first place instead of just one because of the math, and One team was willing to just relent a bit and at the end of the day walk away. But Sapnap on his own had caused such a fuss that they still had to give him a coin and had to let him compete in DodgeBolt, and how to get a crown for him post his picture saying that he won along with his team. I cannot describe to you the absolute tantrum that man went on. Over a coin. He was so disrespectful that he didn't come back for a couple mccs after.

There is a genuine reason why a collective group of people do not want him to compete in MCC.

And you're probably wondering why did he compete in the MCC recently? Because before the main deal of him being signed to kick.com he had already signed the application and had been accepted to do MCC. The same week he came out and said that he was joining kick.com and that a lot of it young viewers should join kick.com

People with begging Scott to remove him, but kick.com just gave that man 20 million and he would definitely find a suitable lawyer to take his case because he earns a substantial amount of money from MCC.

But why would he Sue over MCC? I have a longer post going through this, but I will explain it here to.

Scott couldn't say no. For alot of reasons but here are 2 off the top of my lil head

1. Him not allowing sapnap to compete in MCC after already accepting his application is illegal form of discrimination regarding someone's work. Because he would be discriminating against how he does his work and what he uses to do his work, ( a more clearer example of this would be for someone to reject another person's application because they found out that they were Binman/wasteman, explaining the other people thought it was filthy). In reality

Scott had no basis to withdraw his application and to withdraw his place because most arguments (which are true), had came from social media and it could be argued that the people on social media influence Scott to make that decision and therefore sapnap could have lost a large portion of revenue as a self-employed person that MCC and Scott would have had to repay him based on statistics.

Again I have a longer post going through the law on this but I fact checked everything, and he would genuinely have a legal basis to sue them for discrimination.

And Scott had to take all the stray bullets for that. Because in the UK you have to consent to a formal document being shared with someone else. And even though this is an application for a game it's still an application. So he couldn't share the content of the application because it's illegal here.

Also in the podcast Scott mentions him having a waiting list and then bring this up the applications and you brings up a rough idea of when they application started, and you could actually guess when the applications started From when sapnap started turning up less frequently. Meaning that he was one of the many reasons why the application was made in the first place.

2. Publicity. Sapnap brought a lot of viewers to can watch MCC and it's argued that if Dream and George were there but Sapnap was not there, the pair would not participate regardless of what team they were on because their friends. (BBH actually brings up how close their friendship is when he was defending dream against one of his many allegations and you can tell how close the friend group is. An in Sapnap's Defense of dream he literally goes on about how close they are and in the deleted vod he said wherever he goes I go).

But getting back on track, at the time without the large audience that MCC had it would have not been as sustainable as it is today. They definitely contributed to the success in the early days along with others as it will seen as a new form of Minecraft Monday.

He also raged pretty hard when in MCC 14 Scott's team won after giving hints to his teamate, to win ace race. To which half of his team didn't even finish. And they actually placed lower than top 3 in that event. Scott goes on to say about how he and other had tested it, they were giving instructions and Sapnap did actually finish.

But he was so mad that Scott team had won at a game that EVERYONE was objectively bad at that thiers a 15 minutes video of him screaming about it in Youtube.

Scott later went on to say him and many others who did finish also tested the map, and he always give hints to his team, AND SAPNAP HAD WON AN EVENT WITH SCOTT'S HELP AND USING SCOTT'S HINTS. It's only when he didn't win he had a problem with it.

Sapnap cried when he didn't win, and blame everyone about it yet shot up his ego when he did.

And admittedly he did get better as time went on but dude needs a whole ass team fr-

Are realistically you couldn't call the two of them friends they were more, a friend of a friend. And even if Scott didn't like them objectively over people like them and that's why they were there.

Sapnap but did not come back after the kick.com incident and I doubt he will.

And on that notion a lot of streamers have younger audiences ranging from children to teenagers to young adults. While kick.com is a primarily adult site, not completely adults but you're gonna see some weird things. The majority of streamers who participate in MCC, obviously are going to be put into teams. And if you were put into a team with Sapnap, who was streaming on kick.com, you might think to yourself "wow he'd fun ill check him out!" then boom pedo in your Dms.

For many streamers involved in the event he was not ideal to keep around because realistically he was endangering of a people's audiences while pumping out publicity from his own.

It was not fair to other streamers that their young audiences could we expose to an objectively talented person streaming on one of the worst sites known, and he signed this deal back when kick.com has no moderation, so imagine all the convicted sex offenders, criminals and gambling on the site, then in an attempt to get a younger demographic onto the side it paid Sapnap using the money that they gained from gambling to effectively switch over ( because, and Tubbo did a stream on this and summarized it accurately, because he had a couple conversations with this CEO and for money. Not for the audience).

Meaning that everyone is immediate circle who wanted to continue to watch his content or learn who he was through major events like MCC would download the app and then over your targeted by a lot of older people.

And actually this was the basis that allowed Scott to never bring him back but Scott could not get rid of him for the MCC because it would be legally discrimination.

There are a bunch of things too that I could say about how at the start the only people he would team with would be mostly from the dream SMP and how that directly correlates with how people described him in person, ( trying to control and dominate people), and how people like Niki were too scared to say no at the time, but it be a bit late my dude

The takeaway from this is that he was MCC Problem Child and that Scott couldn't immediately kick him out due to discrimination despite reassurance that he changed his behavior only to immediately sign to kick.com. How he'd endangered both his young audiences and other if he actually stayed. How we used to scream and yell at every one of his mistakes to the point where people didn't want to compete with him. How he would target people who faulted him within the game. And even how he practiced the game so much to the point where they had to make new maps and that if he would lose it would genuinely be down to his team and not him as a player because he had practiced so much meaning that his team felt worse after they didn't win because they knew it was their fault instead of just being happy to play the game ( like you remember when they blew up parkour warrior and replaced it with a new map because of them)

He was just realistically a mess and I'm surprised they tolerated him so long, because the amount of money they have to drop on changing things because the Dream Team had paid someone to recreate some of the maps so that they could practice, and then other people started doing that in which they would memorize a certain game practice that game and then come out on top ( an example of this would be technoblade, who memorised all materials needed for BuildMart and they had to change it and he was basically told that he couldn't do that and he was actually sorry because he didn't know because other people like we're doing it. And again with Technoblade killing people in Bingo to which in the Stream he says he didn't know that you could kill people in Bingo and once people figured it out that would be the strategy until they changed it. Philza practicing ace race maps as he had someone build an almost identical copy of the original because other people were doing it. Wil and other, trying to perfect The Glitch block technique and that's one point someone had commissioned another person to remake the map to see where it was going wrong so that they could utilize the bug instead of playing the game). All these things have in common that they were all in the same server at one point and that the dream team had started this trend but all of them stop doing it when they were told to stop doing it but the Dream Team didn't to the point where even Sands of Time had to be changed, parkour warrior, sky battle, battle box, parkour tag and TGTTOS had to be changed, and they actually sparked the "maybe we should have different maps" trend

Because it was a poorly hidden secret that they'd paid people to re-create maps so that they could practice. (but Scott giving hints is cheating he says while paying someone to remake parkour tag so that they can get a perfect run)

[tayfabe75]

Matty Healy: Cancelled on purpose?

"I'd rather be a pretend supervillain than some pretend hero." (x)

Matty Healy. If you're familiar with the name, chances are good you've already got an opinion about him. Probably a strong one, if I had to guess! Since opinions about Matty Healy tend to come in just two shades: black and white - revered and reviled. On the one hand, you've got people sleeping in tents on sidewalks, sometimes in sketchy cities and inclement weather, just for the chance to see him up close; on the other hand, you have chronically online Twitter users praying for his early demise, using AI art to bring their most depraved wishes to life. So, what's going on, exactly?

"The only fear I have is provoking ambivalence in people. I'd rather people be angry at me than be bored." (x)

And get angry they did! Matty's 2023 cancellation even earned him Pitchfork's "Villain of the Year" title! But...

Did he plan for it to happen all along?

On October 14th, 2022, Matty appears on Chicken Shop Date with Amelia Dimoldenberg. She confronts him about his plan to go on a podcast and pleads, "please don't", to which Matty replies:

"It's probably good advice."

A couple of months later in December 2022, Zane Lowe reveals that Matty meticulously planned their entire interview, lovingly describing him as a "TROLL!" Likewise, when questioned about their ambitious 'At Their Very Best' tour, Matty says that though the tour "feels loose", it's actually "very, very tight" and "very, very well-rehearsed".

Fast-forward to February 2nd, 2023: Matty makes an appearance on Q with Tom Power, where he describes his interest in the flimsy nature of interviews, saying:

"I could fuck my career, I could be a different person, I could do a Chinese accent, I could do anything!"

About a week later, on February 9th, 2023, Matty appeared on the Adam Friedland Show podcast. For context, this podcast is classified as "black comedy, blue humor, surreal humor, anti-humor, and political satire". It is associated with the "Dirtbag left", which is described as "a style of left-wing politics that eschews civility to convey a left-wing populist and anti-capitalist message using vulgarity". In other words, they're trolls. Just like Matty.

Now, to make things easier for anyone reading who wants the full context, I clipped Matty's three "unforgivable offenses" from the dreaded podcast: here is the "ghetto gaggers" moment, the "Ice Spice" moment, and the "accents" moment. I hope you can tell the difference between British and American accents…

Adam and Nick would go on to clarify that they didn't actually know which website Matty was watching. Likewise, very recently, the woman who walked in on Matty clarified that he was not even watching ghetto gaggers:

When asked about the podcast and whether he baited his fans on purpose, Matty said:

"A little bit. But it doesn't actually matter. Nobody is sitting there at night slumped at their computer, and their boyfriend comes over and goes, 'What's wrong, darling?' and they go, 'It's just this thing with Matty Healy.' That doesn't happen."

Yet, it does! Shortly after the podcast, Matty's fans expressed their distaste for his appearance on The Adam Friedland Show. Part of that might be because it was amplified by this tweet from Yungblud:

Interestingly, a few months prior to his tweet, Yungblud went on record stating his admiration for Matty Healy in November 2022. And after Matty's very "unserious" video response wherein he mocks Yungblud, but Dom would later go on to admit that he found the whole thing funny and that he still likes the guy.

Conveniently, Ice Spice also happened to go on record with her admiration for The 1975 shortly before the dreaded podcast, in January 2023!:

"I listen to alternative music. I feel like a lot of people wouldn't expect that. Yeah, shout out Coldplay, The 1975. Obsessed with them."

This, of course, made the joke about her sting that much more a month later… Now, if Matty simply promoted Ice Spice by praising her on his social media accounts, she might have gotten a small boost in streams, that's true. But think about that pretend villain quote again… by taking the fall for a barely offensive joke that he didn't even say, himself… Matty practically turned Ice Spice into a household name.

And before you go assuming Taylor collaborated with Ice Spice purely as damage control… well, there was a rumor about the collab almost a full month before it dropped, on April 27th. And here's what Ice Spice had to say about it:

"That was mostly through management. I was talking about how I was watching Taylor's documentary 'cause I just wanted to really take notes as an artist and stuff like that. Just like how the lifestyle is for such a big artist like her. My manager heard me talking about that and had like reached out to her team and then they had a song for me and everything just played out real good."

Ice Spice's clarification often gets ignored in favor of the more dramatic version of events. The same way Matty's apology addressing the situation from last April gets ignored by so-called journalists who are rewarded for their biases via clickbait titles.

Ice Spice also clarified that Matty apologized to her personally several times:

"I saw him at the Jean Paul Gaultier party a couple days ago, and he was like, 'Hey, you OK?' and I'm like, 'Of course.' He apologized to me a bunch of times. We're good."

Speaking of podcasts… on April 8th, The 1975 released an episode of 'A Theatrical Performance of an Intimate Moment' (filmed in March) where Matty appears to be rehearsing lines for an upcoming and seemingly "candid" interview with Caveh Zahedi:

On April 15th, Matty revealed that he inspired the rat from Flushed Away. Now, Matty probably didn't actually inspire the character of Roddy St. James (although he really was close to one of the film's writers, Ian La Frenais, who was his mother's godfather), but... with this joke, he had just cemented his own "vermin" moniker that would continue to be used to insult him to this very day (sound familiar? 🐍)

What was it Taylor said? Ah, that's right:

"If you make the joke first and you make the joke better, then it's not as funny when other people call you a name."

Almost a week later, on April 21st, Matty would go on a four-minute speech on stage in Auckland, New Zealand, "finally" providing an apology and an explanation for the whole podcast debacle:

"It's not because I'm annoyed that me joking got misconstrued, it's because I don't want Ice Spice to think I'm a dick. I love you, Ice Spice. I'm so sorry. But I don't want to be… I don't want anything to get misconstrued to be mean. I just want to say, 'Hello. This is a bit embarrassing. I'm sorry if I get it wrong. We all get it wrong'. You know? Like, I just have to do it in public and then apologize to Ice Spice, and my life's just a bit weird. But I am genuinely sorry if I've upset her because I fucking love her."

Ignoring this pre-existing apology, on May 17th, Taylor's fans (allegedly) penned the "SpeakUpNow campaign", urging Taylor to dump Matty. On May 30th, Brad Troemel published the "Taylor Swift Fan Union", a series of satirical infographics targeting Taylor's most entitled fans.

Taylor and Matty were reported to have broken up on June 5th, just one month after Taylor had the nerve to date someone of her own volition, without first seeking fan permission!

And things were about to get even worse for Matty, as his labelmate Rina Sawayama would go on to call him out at Glastonbury in June:

"I wrote this next song because I was sick and tired of micro-aggressions. So, tonight, this song goes out to a white man who watches Ghetto Gaggers and mocks Asian people on a podcast. He also owns my masters. I've had enough."

Yet… Matty resigned from his position at Dirty Hit at the beginning of April, which, at the very least, should call the ownership of Rina's masters into question. Speaking of Rina, she's historically a friend of Matty's! Here she is photographed with Matty's dog Mayhem in 2020. And when Matty took over The Face podcast, they asked some of The 1975's friends to cover their songs… Rina was selected and chose 'Love It If We Made It'.

Speaking of Matty's friends… Bleachers were hand-picked to perform at The 1975's Finsbury Park show on July 2nd, where Matty would label Jack his best friend. Yet, just one month later, Matty would be allegedly "disinvited" from Jack's wedding.

In August 2023, Bleachers would go on to join The 1975's Dirty Hit label (alongside Rina). That same month, an episode of The Ion Pack podcast featuring Matty was published, revealing that Brad Troemel "lit a fire" underneath him "massively". Yep! The guy from earlier who created the "Taylor Swift Fan Union". And, though the podcast was published in August, it was filmed all the way back in November 2022…

Brad would go on to help co-write The 1975's 'Still At Their Very Best' Tour, which would launch in September 2023 (yep, the same month as Matty and Taylor's new relationships!):

During the SATVB tour, on February 13, 2024, Matty would describe what he does on stage as "simulating a breakdown", and, as was always intended, Matty's fans largely fell into the trap he laid… (or, at least, I personally saw a lot of speculation regarding Matty's possible drug relapse and mental health issues all over Reddit and Twitter, based solely on his on-stage performance - well, that and gossip blinds, I'm sure).

But... Matty called it a year earlier, in February 2023, when he said:

"I like these lines of like, blurring between what people consider is real. Because with the internet now, there's also a forum. So, there's a lot of conversation right now about like, whether I'm back on drugs, or whether the show is real."

Remember that pesky podcast that started all this mess? The Adam Friedland Podcast? Well, it's co-created and produced by Nick Mullen. Check out this file Matty shared on December 28th, 2023:

It's a little blurry, so let me actually type it out:

UNTITLED MH PILOT "Canceled" Written by Nick Mullen

Some interesting things started happening at The 1975's shows this February. Matty began playing the clip from Q with Tom Power during Consumption (the one about how he could fuck his career and do a Chinese accent if he wanted). And, in the midst of a seemingly earnest speech, Matty breaks the fourth wall, encouraging his fans to be skeptical of things they see on screens - even seemingly sincere moments...

I'll close this out by reminding anyone who happens to have read this far that Matty grew up watching tabloids profit off of made-up lies about his parents, and the media might have destroyed his relationship with the woman of his dreams (we'll see!) Basically, if anyone has the means and motive to troll the media, it's Matty Healy.

[wingsoverlagos]

This is a fun collection of quotes from the Let It Be Beatles Interview with Mark Lewisohn conducted on August 20, 2018. This is mostly for @mythserene's enjoyment, but it's also a fun lil supplement to this comment by @talking-perfectly-loud on a post by @anotherkindofmindpod, which includes some revealing, deeply salty quotes by Lewisohn from an episode of Nothing Is Real.

The below soundbites focus on Lewisohn's feelings towards the Harrison estate, particularly Olivia, though Lewisohn also lets us know that he considered suing George at one point. Italics used to indicate tone; bold font is added emphasis by me.

This is from ~1hr8min into the interview, after a discussion of Mal Evans diaries. Here's a partial transcript:

"No, no, Olivia Harrison doesn't want anything to do with me at all. Yeah, so it's very frustrating because I just want to make the history better and better and better and more and more correct, especially more and more correct in terms of balance on all four Beatles, but whatever."

This is a longer clip (6:26) from ~1hr23min in the original interview. They're discussing Lewisohn's falling out with Apple/the Beatles/George in particularly, which came about because he was falsely accused of bootlegging, or something like that. He's told a few variations of this story.

The first 3ish minutes give some flavor and backstory. Some choice quotes (they're at about 2:50, 4:35, and 5:42 in this clip):

“To the day he died, George blocked me, and Olivia blocks me in George’s name, and so it still carries on.”

“I’ve never, ever leaked, and that was why it was so galling to be accused of being a bootlegger. George Harrison accused me of being a bootlegger to my face in front of a whole film crew, the bastard. I mean, really. A horrible, horrible thing to do. I really should have done him for slander, and in fact at one point I was tempted, believe it or not. Because, you know, I’m a professional, I’m on a shoot, I’ve got a whole unit with me, and he’s accusing me of being a bootlegger in front of everybody, which was- he had no evidence for because there wasn’t any, but that didn’t matter. He was accusing me without evidence, and it was wrong, and um, you just have to put up with these things. These people, they can get away with murder. Celebrities, you know?”

Lest we think George was wilding out solely because of the bootlegging, Lewisohn helpfully clarifies that it was also Paul's Fault:

“The irony of that was that I actually had started off really well with George. I knew George from ’87, personally, and we’d had nice times, and it was- one of the things that flipped it was when I began working regularly for Paul.”

This was the part of the podcast that really took me aback, from around the 1hr43min mark. There's some chatter about Let It Be (the film), and then Lewisohn goes off once again about Olivia Harrison. He's quite impassioned, and then seems to make a conscious effort to talk himself down.

“I don’t know Olivia Harrison. I’ve never met her, which makes her- just- [angry] blocking of everything I do so ridiculous, because she doesn’t even know me. But if, as it would appear, she’s taken it upon herself to perpetuate George’s wishes, which is something that you might expect a spouse to do when their partner’s died, if the partner says, ‘Don’t ever allow this’, then she would take it as her duty not to allow it.”

This is followed by some hedging.

There are several other choice tidbits in this two hour Lewisohn marathon, but Olivia Harrison was foremost in his mind. But don't worry, guys, he's not biased!

[pliablehead]

Heyo, what do you consider the top 5 must-watch EE interviews???

I AM SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS and I think it's because I really don't have a proper answer!! So much of my deep dive into EE was done in one long hyperfixation spiral back when I was first getting fangirl-level into them, a good 6 or 7 years ago, and so I'm running into the problem of most of the interview content I've consumed all sort of homogenizing into one sort of blur of Lore that I've internalized and I am not doing a great job at separating out into its individual components! So, that said, the following list is probably not in line with what I'd actually ultimately believe to be the best, most crucial ones--it's just the ones my brain can call to mind at the moment. lol. BUT HERE ARE SOME:

serious/insightful: • Jon and Alex for Tape Notes podcast. (so not a must-watch so much as a much-listen, but there are a few individual clips from this on youtube in video form as well I believe.) RDF is my favorite EE album and I thought this was a hugely interesting look into their writing process and also had a bunch of cool personal stuff in it! Plus, I think it's a very good look at who the band are, like, "now" -- there's a lot of great content around from MA up through GTH, but by the time they were on album 4 and all like, 30+, and especially once covid hit and sort of changed the trajectory of like.. bands, in general, I feel like it's just been a different animal re: regular interviews etc. • this 2013 3-parter with Jonathan. It's been ages since I watched it but I remembered it almost immediately, and for some reason I'm remembering it as an oddly vulnerable Jon moment. just talking about things. (more good band lore! etc.)

funny/meme-y: • Mike and Jez at Isle of Wight. Unlike many others, I could not possibly count how many times I have rewatched this, and it is funny every time. The interviewer is a buffoon asking totally clueless questions and Jez is having absolutely none of it, he's just chomping his chewing gum the entire time, Mike's doing his best, it destroys me. • Mike and Jez look at memes. Less interview-y and more just #content but whoever edited this video did a TOP NOTCH JOB and it's one I often show to not-in-this-fanbase friends that can still be a fun look at the band and a good laff. • This very sweet one with Alex and Mike being interviewed by a literal child. Contains the infamous "Jeremy, and yes," which is one of my most quoted EE-related sentences ever • this Man Alive track-by-track, also audio only.. the BITS that Jon and Alex are doing. truly incredible stuff

just lads having a nice time :) : • the CAPSLOCK ON talkback - lots of pleasant band and lyric insight, and a great Jez cheese moment at the end • this livestream dot com session is some performing but some Q&Aing, so not really an interview proper, but the energy in the room is delightful alskdghj

other noteworthy bodies of work: • anything with Andy Backhouse. I'll be the first to admit that Andy can grate my nerves sometimes, he often feels annoyingly a little too simp-y or something, but the other side of that coin is that as a huge fan of the band he actually does always ask them questions that are like, Real, he Gets them, so it's guaranteed to be a notch up from just random music journos who are engaging with them on a more surface industry level. Nothing is more frustrating than watching an EE interview where the interviewer just so blatantly doesn't "get" EE's whole deal and doesn't know how to interface. Andy never has that problem ! • any episode of Chips of Chorlton that features them (I think Jon's been on twice and Jeremy once). Dutch Uncles are their friends and hearing them all shoot the shit in an extremely comfortable environment is suuuuch a pleasant and wholly different experience than when the lads are being Professional Music Band guys, even when the latter still consists of them doing fairly goofy things

A VERY LONGWINDED AND NOT ESPECIALLY COMPREHENSIVE ANSWER ?? !!!!! Ultimately I think I was the wrong man for the job. @hellkitepriest has way more of an archivist's nature sort of just intrinsically than I do, he can probably do a better and less ridiculous job akjdshglak

[singto-prachaya]

Did I make a banner specifically for this post? Yes I did. This is a post to introduce you to Offroad Kantapon and Daou Pittaya who are currently starring in the BL Love In Translation. Get to know these two and their close soulmates bond through this post.

Let's start first with a short history lesson: Both participated in the survival show Lazicon (started airing October 9, 2021) and it was the first time they met each other. They became close in a short amount of time and you would often see them holding insta lives together. For a compilation of how they acted with each other during those lives as well as some Lazicon clips I made a fanvideo a while back. I never published it because it was just something I wanted to make for myself and one other person.

Now since the post will be long you can find the rest under the read more link.

One thing Offroad wanted during Lazicon was to perform in the final with Daou and some of his close friends from Insight Entertainment. This would have happened if Daou was fully recovered from having covid but he wasn't. So the performance was without him. Daou however was present through a video call. During a performance were all Lazicon contestants sung together Offroad looked at the screen, saw Daou and started crying. A timestamped video were you can see Offroad getting emotional.

Not in front of my salad! Straight to this point. If you watched my fanvideo or at least a part of it skinship between those two is pretty normal. However if you are contantly all over each other it can cause people to want you to get a room! Especially their band members. There is this behind the scenes clip of Rak Diao in which they made an appearance and check out the timestamped part. Watch for about 20 sec.

Close friends! Daou has some close friends. A couple were from Insight and they had no problem with spilling some tea sometimes. Frank who is now DVI said during a live with the boys and some other contestants "It looks like they are flirting". Daou is also close with Joong Archen and he also had some things to say. "What everyone sees is just a little bit. Joong saw a lot more than that". And he mentioned once how Daou has never taken care of someone like this before not even his close friends. Also during a live with Joong and Daou, Daou got called. Joong then was like "Who is calling? Is that handsome boy. The blond haired one".

The part with Joong starts at 1:45

Jealousy what's that? Anyone who has been in the fandom long enough knows how they talk to each other on twitter and IG. One thing is pretty clear, Daou doesn't like it when Offroad shows to much skin. And he will let it know pretty clearly. Ban hammer gifs, talking about how he has the full sized picture, trying to pull Offroad's shorts, you name it. When the trailer of Our Days was released Offroad appeared half naked in it a couple times and fans then took screenshots and put shirts on Offroad to cover him up. Atime26 even released an edited trailer with those shirts on twitter. The inpact! Most recently Offroad wore a shirt with tiny holes in it and Daou called it see through. And during a recent twitch stream of Daou a fan asked if they could buy a see through shirt for Offroad. They could, but fans can only look. Another recent jealousy example here!

Talking about each other! They talk a lot about each other. Good things but sometimes things can also get sad. I will start here around the time Daou posted that he had to go into the army (he had to enlist 1 November 2022). Offroad commented and said "Eat well. I wish you luck, no suffering, no call, no disease. 👏❤️ Send your heart to me. I love you so much. I will do my best here. Let's go". The last day before Daou's enlistment a podcast was posted by The Modernist with the Laz1 boys. There was also a written version and let me copy a part. One question that was asked was "Choose one person and tell him your innermost feelings".

Offroad: But if I want to talk to another person who is very special, that is, I want to talk about P'Wu. Because he was the only person in the group who saw me from the beginning. I want to say that my place is like this. What I want to say is that I want him to see that I'm getting better. (Crying so much that he couldn't breathe) I wanted to tell him that. I have been with him for a long time and he is another person who has fulfilled me to be here as well.

Offroad has said a couple times before that he felt like he was a burden to Daou because he felt like he wasn't good enough.

During the last day they also had last fanmeet. And when Daou grabbed the microphone to talk he put his arm around Offroad's shoulder. And then when he started talking Offroad broke down (video linked there).

And here someone made a tiktok about the enlistment.

They had to work in pairs after the first round in Lazicon and Daou picked Offroad.

Special person talk during EMF fandom live today.

Couple rings! Daou lied to Offroad and said his fanclub wanted to buy a ring so they needed Offroad's ring size. Turned out Daou wanted to buy couple rings. A fan found out it were Cartier rings worth 1500 euro's each. And Daou isn't even rich. During EMF fandom live today there was more couple rings talk.

This was for an interview with Mint Magazine. Full trans for the interview here. As a long term fan I was confused by their answer because for me it's always been a 10. Not sure how it could have gotten more.

Daou talking about how in BL series the characters at least have to love each other but that they don't have to force themselves since they already have a close relationship. Full interview here and you can use google trans on the webpage.

Couple song! Last part. Daou and Offroad's fandom name is Nubdao and they have a song called Nubdao which was written by them and which is about each other. Nubdao means counting the stars.

Translation of this song in a comment here

Edit: Since we have new people joining the fandom and not so nice comments have been made let me throw in a part of a interview they did for MayaTV this year as well some older statements made.

More than just a 'Ship'

Credit: yourstar_94

[ladylooch]

I need some unhinged thoughts about Luca and Liv

Especially since Luca is a biggg boy and livy is one lucky girl

A/N: Have fun reading this without squeezing your thighs together, bitches (affectionate) 😈

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: 18+ Content

“Here you go baby.” Luca says from the left of Liv. She pops an eye open, shielding her eyes with her hand, forgetting about her sunglasses on her head. Extended to her is a pretty pink margarita rimmed with salt and some sort of chili flakes. “Watermelon. Your fav.”

“Oooo, this is a virgin right?”

“Yep as virginal as you.” Liv snorts on her first sip, almost sending tequila straight through her nose.

“If my dad could hear you now…” Luca scoffs, laying down on his chaise next to Liv’s by the pool inside the gates of their Cabo San Lucas resort. 

“What would he do?” Luca pops an eyebrow at her from behind his square, designer sunglasses. 

“Well it depends. Is my mom with him or no?” Luca laughs. 

“The only person in the world your dad is afraid of.”

“For good reason.” Liv chuckles, making a mental note to text her parents a presentable picture later this evening. Maybe before her and Luca head to their sushi dinner. 

The February sun hugs the tip of Baja California. Luca and Liv are spending their second all-star break together sunning on white sandy beaches and dipping into cool, turquoise waters of the pool and ocean. The morning was spent sipping iced coffee and reading their respective books. Liv had listened to a podcast while she read and Luca had dozed off until a few minutes ago when he had announced he was getting them drinks. 

After a few more sips, Liv stands, feeling hot and wanting to take her second dip into the pool for the day. She double checks her hair is secure in her large claw clip before strutting towards the pool. Luca watches every one of her steps with greedy eyes. She knows she looks so fucking good today. Her deep, periwinkle swimsuit hugs her curves in every place Luca wants his hands right now. Her bottoms are barely there, showing generous portions of her ass that sways with each movement of her body towards the pool. She looks over her shoulder at him, giving her a sweet smile. 

She has no idea what she is doing to him.

Liv savors the coolness of the pool wrapping around her. It brings her body temperature down to something more manageable. She smells like coconut sunscreen and her deodorant that has been working overtime since they got down here. Her East Coast skin is not used to all this warmth and humidity. 

“Hey.” She hears Luca call to her from where he is still lounging on his chair. She looks over at him through her lashes. “You are so gorgeous.” He calls, loud enough that most of the people in and around the pool can hear. Liv blushes, shaking her head at him hyping her up.

After spending several more calming minutes cooling down, she wades over to the stairs. Luca stands at her approach, holding her towel open for her and wrapping her up in it. In one tug, he has her collapsing into his lap on his chaise. 

“Your seat for the rest of the afternoon.” He murmurs. Liv looks back at her boyfriend. His dark sunglasses attempt to conceal the desire there, but what she feels beneath her gives him away. 

“Big seat for a small woman.” She smirks. Luca grins.

“Think you can make do anyway, sweetheart?” 

“Mhm. I like big seats.” 

“Fuck, Livy.” Luca groans, sitting back in the chaise after sighing heavily. He thickens more beneath her towel covered ass. She presses into him, rolling her hips in a brief circle. Luca stiffens beneath her then harshly grabs her hips to still them. “Be good.”

“That what you want?” Liv drawls, leaning further into his chest. Luca’s arms move to criss cross over her stomach, keeping her tight against him. He spreads his legs beneath her so she can settle in better on the chaise. “Thought you like it when I’m bad.” He chuckles next to her ear, then pulls her ear lobe between his teeth. 

“I love everything about you, baby.” He runs his tongue along the shell of her ear. Liv’s eyes roll back into her head for a moment before she lets a sexy sigh drop her shoulders. 

“Baby?” Liv breathes out.

“Hm?”

“Will you take me upstairs and fuck me?”

“Yep. Mhm. Definitely. Let’s go.” Luca lifts her with two heavy grips on her thighs to stand. Liv laughs, watching Luca hastily gather their stuff together. Once their personal belongings are back in their pool bag, Liv and Luca say goodbye to their full margaritas and rush towards the elevators. 

Inside their room, swimsuits fall, hair clips are tossed, bags become tripping hazards at their feet as they claw their way to the bed. Their mouthes greedily lick and suck at each other until Luca can’t take it anymore. He pulls away roughly, smoothing Livy’s wild hair down as he holds her cheeks so he can look into her ocean blue eyes.

“Need you, babe. Now. Right fucking now. Bend over for me.”

Liv’s palms barely hit the comforter before Luca is stroking his cock through her folds. He glides into her soaked heat, ripping an electric groan from his chest. 

“Oh.” Liv sighs. To torture her, like she has with him in that biking this afternoon, he drags his cock out at a snail’s pace until he falls completely out of her. Then he sets his tip against her pulsing entrance, continuing the same movement until Liv wiggles back bucking for more.

“Who’s are you?” Luca whispers to her.

“Yours.” She strangles out desperately. Luca increases his pace a smidge, rewarding her.

“You know what you’re doing to me with that new bikini?”

“Just wanted to look good for you.” She whines, anything but innocent.

“Yeah? Wanted me to see all my favorite parts in public?”

“Yes, Luca.” He kisses along her back, by her shoulder, then grabs a swaying breast in his right hand. His left hand comes across her lower stomach, pressing in as he drives deep. Liv quakes like cups in an earth quake. “Just like that. Please… don’t stop.” She moans. Her already being so close has pre-cum leaking into her from his throbbing cock.

“Tell me how good my cock feels.”

“Mmmm so good. So big.”

“Yeah? You don’t even need another one to know how good this is?” She shakes her head no, then reaches back to hold his ass. Her nails dig into his round cheek as she begins to help again.

“Wish I could take you on that balcony just like this.” He moves a hand to hold under her chin so she can see the open curtains leading to their balcony. “Give everyone down there a show huh?” Liv’s walls collapse in on him tighter. Luca groans, biting her shoulder. “Fuck, you would like that huh, Livy? Want everyone to see how good you take me. Hmm?” The harsh slapping of skin connecting takes over the room when Luca powers his hips faster. 

“Fuck!” Liv howls, shaking as she tries to hold herself in place. Luca removes his hand from her chin, placing it between her shoulder blades to shove her into the bed.

“But they can’t see your pretty pussy, babe. Cause it’s mine, no?”

“Yes!” Liv wails, gripping the comforter in her fingers. 

“Good girl.” Luca coos, stroking his hand down her side to grip her hip again.

His hand pulls her back into him with every powerful thrust until she trembles in his embrace. Her walls hug his cock and then she moans his name loud enough for the entire resort to hear as she comes around him. Wetness slides down his shaft, curving along his balls as she spills all over him. He echos the sentiment immediately, unable to hold back how good it feels to have her orgasming on his sensitive cock. Their sloppy, wet thrusts slow until they stop completely. Luca eases himself out of her, grinning at the creamy mixture already trying to slide out of her.

He can’t have that.

Luca puts two fingers to her entrance, working his seed back into her. He strokes her internal spot, then coaxes those fingers back out again. Liv looks over her shoulder at him. Their eyes connect and she whimpers.

“Wanna taste.” Luca could collapse into fucking Jell-O on the floor. His sexy, innocent girlfriend turning into a feral mix before his eyes. Liv sucks his fingers until every drop of them is off his skin and on her tongue. Then she sighs happily, flipping her hair as she stretches out on her stomach in front of him, still looking like his next damn meal.

Fuck food. All he needs is her.

They are not leaving this room again today.

[marsixm]

touch wood bc im always crashing and burning on shit like this but lately ive been somewhat remembering to keep up with a bunch of positive habits ive been trying to stick to for years.

ive noticeably been off my phone, my screen time is way down from last week, and the effects are def being felt. like all the shit where i was always feeling like i had no time, well, actually i do if im not spending a bunch of time distracted by twitter lmao

i know putting it down to one or even two things is too simple but i feel like a bunch of stuff has had a domino effect lately of positive changes adding up. i no longer am hosting people i didnt wanna host at my place, its not unbearably hot outside, im feeling way more secure in my relationships, im feeling confident due to noticeable skill improvements, and all those things are compounding each other and helping me maintain a lot of baseline stuff (mostly cleaning) which is then making me feel even better and able to do more of the stuff i often put off

4 example i finally made an appointment for my next tattoo, finally contacted my apt place about fixing my washer, am actually doing my skin care routine, actually clipping the dogs nails more (tho that ones mostly on him for fighting me lmao), im trying to ease my way back into reading too

a couple changes that are helping are, for one, i changed my morning routine up so i have like 20 minutes before making breakfast to start nursing my cup of coffee while i check my computer, respond to messages, and kinda mentally prep for the day, also instead of having either pure silence im trying to fill with picking out some other youtube video or being on my phone or whatever, im trying to just turn the tv on and let it play american dad (or whatever show ive already seen a million times) which i know sounds like it should be distracting but for me its not, and i really realized that recently that of course it would feel normal to just have the tv running thats literally how i grew up for my entire childhood and adolescence- im also giving myself my specific time for listening to music and time for listening to podcasts, and for podcast-esque yt vids, again everything towards having less mental hangups while trying to get other stuff done, AND im giving myself time to actually catch up on things like podcasts (im up to taz graduation now) which is also handy for not using data in my car, i actually set myself on a 5gb/month plan and this past month i had a whole gigabyte left over! + im amble to stick to the skin care routine better, for example, bc i realized just bc its a before bed skin care routine doesnt mean i have to do it RIGHT BEFORE bed, ie when im fucking sleepy and also dont want my face to feel weird & distracting. like i can do it a couple hours before, even, esp if im not going out. also this is either gonna sound silly or totally reasonable but ever since i got back into elden ring, the feeling its giving me of facing obstacles, getting defeated, but getting back up and trying harder and winning is like genuinely doing so many positive things for my self esteem and brain chemistry right now. also timers! i love timers! having an idea of how long something is taking me, or giving myself a predetermined block of time to do something, or just to nudge me to remind me what i was up to, super helpful

anyway im kinda going thru a transitional period rn bc im improving on a personal level a lot but my social life is kinda whacked out due to communication breakdowns and one of the key people moving states this week, but at the same time im also much more secure in my ability to socialize and bridge gaps and be there for people so its a very mixed bag but im trying to not just survive but thrive right now

[goldenpinof]

okay here's my pitch:

so dnp fans are getting older and we have shit to do and like for me now that im in my 20s i personally prefer long unedited content like podcasts and stuff. bc i can put it on in the background while i cook dinner or get work done. like short and edited youtube videos just don't work for me anymore bc i have to give 100% of my attention to it but im a busy girl, i can't just watch youtube for hours like i used to when i was a teen with no responsibilities.

another thing is that now that we're older, we can pay for things. and ive become a channel member for some of my fav creators and subscribed to patreon. i really enjoy members-only content even if it's paid bc it's more like real and authentic. it's a great way for big youtubers to connect with their community and have a nostalgic "small youtuber" vibe again, you know what i mean? like more casual, less views, etc.

so my proposal is, members-only dan and phil podcast for like 5 bucks a month or something. where they can like talk about deeper more adult topics. like how in the mukbang they discussed what tour was like and dan was like "do you ever feel like you don't have a personality". just like chatty conversations about life and their journey and their thoughts and feelings. and they can do clips for non members so that people don't feel too left out.

like im telling you that would be life changing.

like liveshows but better quality and with more control on dnp's part. yeah, i agree. although all content is gonna end up on the internet for free eventually, so no one is gonna be left out :) which is a good thing! you're paying if you can and if you want as a personal "thank you" i guess. you don't miss any content if you can't pay. and a paywall can be applied to messages only? i have a feeling dnp don't really like making us pay for content from our own pockets.